The Exorcist Chapter 20: The secret of the heart

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The genius was bright, and Xiaoxia suddenly woke up because she suddenly felt empty, as if Ruan Zhan had left again.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that his body was empty. Except for the messy sheets, his body temperature and scent were not retained. Xiaoxia burst into tears instantly, threw on some clothes at random and ran downstairs to take a look. But before she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw that the entire bar was empty, not even a shadow.

Is he gone again? Are you giving up on her again? When she just hinted at him, he stayed away. Now that she has such a close relationship with him, has she lost him forever? Xiaoxia heard her heart break as she thought that she might never see him again.

Click——

But is the sound of heartbreak so loud? This is too exaggerated!

Xiaoxia walked around unconsciously, but she happened to see the door of the bar open, and the man who had left her forever appeared there, looking at her in astonishment.

"Xiao Xia, what are you standing here for? Go upstairs quickly, you will catch a cold!" Ruan Zhan hurriedly closed the door to block the cold wind outside, walked to the stairs in three steps and put the She held him in her arms. He didn't know how long she stood there, but seeing that she was only wearing his shirt and bare feet and legs, she would definitely freeze if she continued like this.

"I thought you disappeared again." After getting into the warm quilt, the fear and uneasiness in Xiaoxia's heart did not diminish. Although she let go of Ruan Zhan's neck, she held on to his clothes instead. Ruan Zhan had no choice but to sit by the bed. He was cold from the outside, but hugging him made her feel warm inside.

Looking at her hidden tears, his heart was filled with indescribable tenderness, "I won't disappear, but you will definitely regret it."

"I don't regret it."

Ruan Zhan didn't speak, only smiled bitterly. He shouldn't have done it last night, but he couldn't control it. The fire in his heart drove him crazy. It was too late to say anything now. He could only find a way to solve the doomed situation. Not for anything else, just for her!

"I went to buy something." He took out the small box in his pocket, "I can't give you a wedding now, but I want to marry you as my wife."

Oh, he actually proposed!

Xiao Xia felt confused for a while, then ecstatic. She didn’t even think about where Ruan Zhan could go to buy a ring so early. She never thought that he would use Taoism to force his way into the jewelry store, put down the money, and took it himself. The ring goes away.

She did not hide her happiness at all, and quickly let go of her hands that had been holding Ruan Zhan's clothes, and raised all ten fingers in front of him, "I promise, I promise, wear the ring quickly!"

Her anxious and serious expression made Ruan Zhan laugh, and the depressed mood in his heart eased. With her, he was always happy, content, and a little bit at peace, as if she was his home.

Kissed her palm, but did not put the ring on her finger.

"Xiaoxia, I want to tell you something about myself, and then you can decide whether to accept my proposal." He forced himself to come out of his tender and lingering emotions and face the cruelty of reality, "I'm sorry I can't give you a certain future because I have very difficult reasons. This is why I have never been able to accept you. It's not that you are bad. I loved you a long time ago."

Xiaoxia looked at his face with a slight pain, and automatically filtered and selectively accepted what he said in her mind. She completely ignored the "difficulties", and only heard with her two ears that he had loved her a long time ago. , so happy that she forgot everything. he loves her! he loves her! Loved it a long time ago! In the heart of a woman in love, as long as her sweetheart loves her, what difficulties are there that cannot be solved? Drink enough water if you are interested!

Thinking with a smile, Xiaoxia took the ring by herself and put it into Ruan Zhan's hand. Then before Ruan Zhan understood what she wanted to do, she let him put the ring on her hand.

"I officially declare that you are mine now! Come and stamp it!" She pressed a kiss on Ruan Zhan's lips loudly, and then began to admire the ring on her hand. Even Ruan Zhan's presence was Ignored all together.

Ruan Zhan has long been aware of her childishness and knows that if he doesn't stop her, he won't be able to talk. After last night, he could no longer give up on her. The question was whether he had the ability to want her, so he had to confess everything to her.

"Xiaoxia, listen to me carefully." He pinched her chin and forced her eyes to look into his. But just facing her like this made him almost lose his mind. He quickly collected himself and said seriously: "I'm talking about serious things and our future. You said that we have to face it together, so you have to understand me. What are you worried about?"

"What is so serious?" Seeing Ruan Zhan's serious look, Xiao Xia asked, her intoxicated heart suddenly became a little nervous.

Ruan Zhan opened his mouth, but no words came out for a while. He had closed his inner world for too long, and now he had to stretch out his arms to hold her in his arms before he had the strength to speak out.

"I-maybe I will do something life-threatening in the near future." His words came from Xiaoxia's hair. The words themselves and his painful voice made Xiaoxia freeze, but Ruan Zhan He held her tightly and didn't let her see his face.

"This is something I have been destined to do since I was born. I can't escape and it's impossible not to do it. This is my fate. Even if I can resist, I can't allow myself to do that. Because , that concerns my father."

He suddenly couldn't speak anymore. Xiao Xia's hand around his waist gently stroked his back and comforted him, "What is it? Tell me, what is it that puts so much pressure on you? Tell me, I can share it for you, really, I can share it."

"My fate was determined thirty-three years ago. I was born for the day I die."

"Nonsense, of course people are destined to die as soon as they are born." Xiao Xia patted Ruan Zhan and tried to look relaxed.

"You're right, but it's a natural thing, not like me. What should I say? I can only say that I am not born for life, I am born for death. If it is not for the sake of meeting three difficulties, On that day, if it weren’t for the strange celestial phenomenon that day, I wouldn’t have been born.”

Ruan Zhan wanted to speak calmly, but couldn't, and his tongue-twisting words made Xiaoxia confused for a moment, but she didn't interrupt him and waited for him to continue.

"My father, Ruan Tianyi, is a Taoist, and he is very sincere in his thoughts. He respects and is obsessed with Taoism and Taoism. In other words, he is not close to women. In the past, when When he appeared in front of me as an adoptive father, I could understand that he was caring for me in raising me. But when I found out that he was my biological father, I always wondered how someone like him could marry. Give birth to a child? It is impossible for him to find a woman because of impulse. If he has a woman, it must be because he is truly in love. So what kind of person is my mother who can make him fall in love with her and make him love her enough to give birth to her? Give birth to a child? Where did my mother go? Did she die? Or could she run away because she couldn't stand his indifference? Growing up, I didn't find any trace of the existence of a woman around him. This is illogical. Because moving A man who is in true love will never be able to endure the pain of lovesickness. I understand this very well. But when I carefully recall the more than ten years that I lived with him, I really can’t find any clues."

"Or maybe he kept his feelings in his heart and didn't show them?"

"No, I know very well that in terms of feeling, he has never loved any woman. But in that case, why was I born? Also, why is he obviously my biological father, but he keeps pretending to be mine? Adoptive father? Why did he die in such a strange way? These things have been weighing on my heart. It wasn't until I went to Jinshi Town to meet him this time that I understood everything." At this point, Ruan Zhan let go of Xiaoxia, "Look at me, Xiaoxia , the person in front of you now, in fact, from the moment he was born, he was not treated as a human being, but as a tool, a tool to prevent disasters. Do you understand? I was not born because of the love of my parents. It’s not even the product of impulse, I’m just a tool!”

"Wait, wait! What do you mean by this, I don't understand!" Xiao Xia was a little stunned, and felt particularly distressed when she saw Ruan Zhan's expression of self-denial and self-loathing.

Ruan Zhan exhaled a long breath, as if to express his depression, "My biological father, Ruan Tianyi, did something thirty-three years ago, which caused serious consequences. , very serious, so serious that he cannot solve it and bear it himself, and when this kind of consequences occurs, it will hurt many people, including himself, and the harm is even unimaginable."

"What did the old man do?"

"He refused to tell me about this!" Ruan Zhan shook his head, "But I can see that it was what he did that caused the bad aura lingering around him, and this bad aura will Slowly eroding into people's bodies and souls. Thinking about it this way, his bizarre death may also be explained. It must be that his physical body can no longer control the bad energy. If he does not go into retreat, the bad energy will confuse his mind and make him He unknowingly hurts others, and even harms the entire town. He is a cultivator, and his cultivation is very advanced. His soul is far more powerful than his body, so he pretended to be dead for more than ten years and lay in the coffin, using the crystal knife to vent his anger. To get rid of the evil spirit. Obviously, he failed, so he broke out of the coffin with the help of a mysterious man. The question is who was the mysterious man? Also, he said that he did not know at the time that I was looking for him under the guidance of Sima Nan. Him, but because even in the state of suspended animation, he is still unable to control himself."

"Is it so powerful?" Xiaoxia said, not knowing much about Taoism, but looking at Ruan Zhan's expression, he knew that the consequences of what Uncle Ruan did were indeed quite serious, and he had already suffered such consequences before it even happened. It's like this. If you can't suppress it, it will be very scary.

"In his real death, we mistakenly blamed the pair of demon boys. My father - after he came out of the underground, he wanted to come and see me quietly, but found that we were worried about the demon boys, so he also went to Xi'an He took a look. But he couldn't control his bad energy when he was suspended in death. How could he withstand the long journey and the steaming of yang energy? There, his bad energy broke out and he had to really abandon his physical body and go from a human to a soul body. And the reason why he went to Tietou Mountain in Jinshi Town was to vent the evil spirit that had been plaguing him for half his life."

"Still not working?"

Ruan Zhan smiled bitterly and shook his head, "It has not improved at all. In fact, it is getting worse every day. I don't know what he did, but the bad breath is like cancer. He has used various methods to treat it, but it is still there. It continued to spread. Until - the day of my thirty-third birthday. After midnight that day, it was the last moment of one of the exercises he practiced. At this critical moment, his control of the bad energy would be minimized, and that day was During a total lunar eclipse, without the suppression of the essence of the moon, all the evil and darkness in the world will burst out with the strongest power. When the two face each other, he will become a devil on that day, and will no longer recognize his relatives and friends, and will no longer be able to tell them apart. Good and evil, right and evil, if--he couldn't find a better way before."

"What method? It doesn't have anything to do with you, right?" As if she realized something, Xiaoxia's face suddenly changed, and she tightly grasped Ruan Zhan's sleeves with both hands. Her knuckles turned white due to the excessive force.

Ruan Zhan looked at her face, feeling all kinds of tenderness and reluctance in his heart, but he had no choice, "That's me, I am the solution to the problem, I was born to stop this thing. ”

"Is this dangerous?" Xiao Xia asked in a low voice. It seemed that the louder the voice, the greater the danger to Ruan Zhan. "You just said it would be life-threatening-"

"This is my three difficulties. When I was very young, I knew that this difficulty would kill me. It was only today that I understood why. I wanted to prevent my father from becoming a devil that day. , completely eliminate the evil spirit that haunts him, and complete the mission I was born to bear. If it is someone else who needs to be helped, I will not pay attention at all, as long as I protect you. But that is my father. Regardless of his life What am I doing for? After all, he gave me life and raised me. At least, I want to repay him, even if I pay it back with my life!" Ruan Zhan gently caressed Xiao Xia's face, his eyes were as gentle as dripping water, hiding his deep thoughts. Deep attachment and reluctance, "Both Wan Li and Bao Datong know about this disaster, but you don't know, so I avoid you. It's not that I don't love you, it's that I can't afford to love you. I am not a man with my own life, I am just a tool to slay demons and defend the law."

Xiao Xia rushed into Ruan Zhan's arms, "Don't talk about yourself like that!" She hugged him with all her strength, "No matter what your past is, your present and your future belong to me. As long as I care about you, you are the most important person in the world! Don’t you understand? You are more important to me than life and more precious than everything else!"

"I know! I know! With you, my life is enough. Even if I really die here, I have no regrets, but what will you do? If I really can't survive this death, Xiaoxia, What are you going to do?" Ruan Zhan said heartbrokenly.

"I won't commit suicide for love, otherwise my parents will die of grief. I won't do such irresponsible things." Xiaoxia let go of her hand and looked into Ruan Zhan's eyes and said, "But I don't allow it either. You die, because you are already mine, I have stamped my seal, and you must be with me. If you dare to die and end up in poverty, I will chase you back and make you come back alive!"

Xiaoxia said fiercely, and she really thought so. Since they love each other, they must defend each other! And in this mood, there is also a feeling of distress for Ruan Zhan. It turns out that he has shouldered so much alone; it turns out that he has always wanted to give her happiness, so he rejected her; it turns out that he wants to bear all the suffering alone! Therefore, she will love him even more from now on and let him be the most relaxed and happy person in the world!

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