Dreadful Radio Game Chapter 159: Go back to the oven and remake it!
“Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!”
The sound of gongs and drums are constantly intertwined. On the outside, there is a circle of villagers standing and watching the excitement, and inside, there are a few fancy Taoist priests running in a circle.
There are five Taoist priests in total. Each of them is embroidered with a kind of animal. In detail, it is actually one of the nine sons of the dragon, such as the gluttonous and juicy ones. They wear cloud crowns on their heads and feet. Wooden clogs, walking is also impressive.
The one who hit the front was a fat man, holding a peach wood sword, and muttering words in his mouth. Behind him was a rice bowl and a portrait of the ancestor. In short, it was very formal. The villagers around had a kind of ” “Unknown Jue Li” feeling.
There was a video before, in which a monk was knocking on a wooden fish and chanting sutras during a funeral, but it turned out to be in the tune of “Doraemon”, so the funeral team naturally worked hard and read them all. Taoism is all the authentic Taoism.
Walking down circle after circle, followed by some other rituals, at the end the fat man who led the peach wood sword stabbed the talisman paper with a wave, and the talisman paper burned automatically, and the villagers around were applauded by the Taoist priest. Obviously better than the Taoist priests who saw funeral affairs before,
At least it will be tricky!
After a lot of tossing down, the fat man finally yelled with a sword in his hand: “Send Mr. He to drive the crane peacefully and be a **** in the heaven!”
The villagers underneath all applauded, and many even applauded. One of the middle-aged men with big ears and a suit in a suit nodded with satisfaction, although the price of this funeral team It’s more expensive, but they do have two brushes. He is not short of money anyway. His father is gone. Naturally, he has to make the funeral smooth and let the people in the village see how he Ergou is now a character. .
Performance, oh no, the ritual is over, naturally the table will start. Fatty and others are arranged by the host to have a table with the music team. There are five Taoists and eight people on the music team. The big round table is also Can sit down.
It’s just that, unlike Taoist priests, the faces of several people on the music team are very unsightly. The reason is simple. Although they used to be called the music team, they actually did all these tasks together. Contracted.
The traditional funeral process in the rural areas of Central Jiangsu is now like this. Someone in the family has passed away. Ask the music team to come. In the morning, the people in the music team put on Taoist or monk clothes and began to do things in a sensible way. In the afternoon, the village karaoke concert began, holding the microphone and putting on the stereo, and started singing, dancing, and even acting.
After all, for the death of the deceased, apart from the grief of the host and a few close relatives, most of the guests who came to the banquet were actually dealing with errands, but also because of relatives. Although there is no feeling and much contact, But people must also be present to pay for the money. One meal at noon and one meal at night. It can’t be said that the big guys silly and accompany the host’s grief together, so naturally they have to have some fun. The music team satisfies the big guys. Have fun, everyone gathered around the dam in the afternoon and listened to songs and watched the performance. After the performance, it was almost time for the evening party.
But now, most of the errands of the music team have been robbed by these Taoist priests, and the memorial service during the day is the most expensive, and the host will also pack a big funeral red envelope.
The fat man headed by the Taoist priests rolled up his sleeves and ate happily. The other Taoist priests originally wanted to squeeze the air, but when they saw that the boss was eating so freely, they let go.
Now the noodles in the countryside are definitely not worse than the ones in the hotels. Although the price is a lot cheaper, the oil, water and hard dishes are definitely more competitive.
After finishing the meal, the fat man took off his Taoist clothes and was wearing a white shirt, sitting there with the wind blowing. Today, wearing this Taobao custom-made Taobao is really a sin.
The music team over there is already preparing to set up the venue. Several people are experimenting with microphones, “Hey hey hey…hey hey hey…” The villagers who have eaten the lunch table noodles also spontaneously gathered to prepare Enjoy the village karaoke singing.
“Bayi brother.”
A Taoist priest trot over and leaned close to the fat man. His name was Xiao Lizi, a native of Sichuan, who came out of Jiangsu to work. He was foolishly pitted and sat on the side of the road crying and was received by the fat man.
“The person in charge of this house said that we have to let us come over during the first seven and five seventh, and the deposit is given.”
The little Taoist cleverly stuffed the money into the fat man’s pocket.
The fat man nodded, indicating that he knew.
“Grandma’s, it’s been a long time since I sang, let’s sing a song too.”
The fat man squeezed through the crowd and entered the infield of the music team.
“Come on, Lord Dao, I will sing a song too, okay?” Fatty said to the leader of the music team.
“Sure, come on.” Although the leader of the music team is very upset with these Taoist priests who are grabbing jobs, he is not so good at being a human being. To be honest, people who are in fun business will be more able to be human. Because in this business, as long as you say a wrong sentence, you have nowhere to say no if you are beaten up by the host.
The fat man went to choose the song disc first, then put the song disc into the old-fashioned player, and then he held the microphone and said:
“Fathers and villagers, Mr. He has gone to Hexi, and he has gone to heaven as a god. Let’s not be too sorrowful, and don’t have to be too sorrowful. Everyone should look a little bit away. I know in my heart that Mr. He still misses everyone Those who came to mourn me today, Mr. He is in the sky, he will also miss Taoism, and he will miss his son, our boss He.”
The sound of music sounded at this time. Although the sound of the loudspeaker is not very clear, it is definitely enough in this empty venue.
The fat man turned into the microphone and began to sing:
“Find some free time, find some time;
Take the child and go home often;
Bring a smile and wish;
Accompany your lover, often go home to see…………”
The people in the music team on the side all have an expression of seeing a ghost, and let the dead Mr. He go home often?
But when I saw Mr. He’s son He Ergou applauded after Fatty finished singing, he even took another microphone to sing together with Fatty. The talents in the music team really breathed a sigh of relief. Well, I ran into a nouveau riche with no brains, otherwise I would really be afraid of being burdened by this stinky fat man.
The concert was noisy until 3:30 in the afternoon. Fatty greeted several people to put on their clothes again and followed the hearse to the crematorium. The rural area in Jiangsu is strictly controlled and burial is strictly prohibited. If it is found, even Those who have been buried will also be forced to be dug out and cremated again.
In the car, other Taoist priests threw them out while kicking and kicking, and then shouted things like “Return of the soul” and “Go all the way well”.
The little Taoist priest next to Fatty suddenly complained, “Brother Bayi, I heard that some places are buried in the ground, saying that they respect their customs.”
“Fuck it, when it comes to burials, who has the Han people value burials since ancient times? The old ancestors were pushed into the crematorium when they died?” The fat man lit a cigarette and sent a few Taoist priests around him. After one, the little Taoist also wanted to be glared at by the fat man and withdrew his hand.
The fat man spit out a smoke ring, “Fuck, if we can still bury now, let’s make money faster. Look at Feng Shui to choose the format of the tomb. That’s the most profitable place. What a pity.”
After all, the fat man still loves money.
The funeral procession stopped under Bridge No. 2 and drove into the funeral home. He Ergou, a filial son, was carrying his black and white portrait of Lao Tzu, and the fat man and the funeral home staff pushed the ice coffin forward together.
When we got inside, the people at the funeral home refused to let the fat man intervene, and the fat man stepped back. Behind him was a team of relatives led by He Ergou.
“I said Boss He, you are crying.” The fat man winked, and relatives were standing behind him. Your father is about to become ashes. Why don’t you even have a tear?
“But, but, I can’t cry.” He Ergou said anxiously.
The fat man sighed, calmly reached out and pinched He Ergou’s ass,
He Ergou immediately burst into tears from the pain,
“My father, why did you leave like this, what do you let my son do…”
He Ergou cried out, and the relatives behind immediately joined in and cried out. Some rushed over to stop the ice coffin from pushing into the incineration chamber. Of course, this is also a way of doing things, otherwise It is necessary for the staff of the funeral home to directly let go and say, “Okay, I will not be cremated to take you to your house”, and see who wants it.
Today’s thing is completely finished,
The fat man clapped his hands, walked outside, and lit a cigarette. The little Taoist priest walked up to the fat man and said, “Brother Bayi, what are you thinking about?”
“Look, what is floating out of that chimney?” The fat man pointed to the chimney and said.
“Human ashes.” The little Taoist replied.
“Fart, that’s the ash from the oil sprayed from the incinerator. When the old man died, he was just a bone frame. How could he burn so much ash.”
“Oh, that’s it.”
“Little plum, you are so stupid.” said the fat man.
“I’m stupid.” The little Taoist admitted.
“Guwazi, do you know what your greatest strength is?”
“What is it?”
“Knowing that I am stupid and admitting that I am stupid is smarter than most people in this world. In the future, you will lead the team. I will teach you everything I should teach you.”
“Brother Bayi, are you leaving?” The little Taoist took out his mobile phone solemnly and played “Can’t Say Goodbye” by Alan Tan.
The fat man put his foot on the fart and stock of the little Taoist priest, “Fuck the calf, give the fat man “God of Gamblers”!”
The little Taoist immediately searched for the “God of Gamblers” theme song and played it,
The fat man laughed, very coquettishly turning around and walking towards the incinerator in the BGM of “God of Gamblers”, stretched out his hand, and took out the wad of money he just took out of his pocket.
Throw it to the sky at will, for a time, the renminbi is flying, but it is not a coin,
Fatty walked all the way, neither the staff of the funeral home nor the relatives of He Ergou seemed to be able to see him,
The fat man walked into the incineration room and lay on the conveyor belt.
“Brother Bayi, can you not burn yourself!”
The little Taoist slapped the glass alone and shouted~IndoMTL.com~A staff member came over to pull the little Taoist, thinking that the young man was mad.
“Then I have to discuss with my wife.” The fat man shouted back.
“But you are a bachelor…” The little Taoist was carried out by the security guard. A little Taoist suddenly went crazy in the funeral home, and this funeral home’s supernatural incident had to be added.
“Then…there is no discussion.”
The fat man laughed at himself, then pressed his finger down, and several buttons in the distance were automatically pressed down,
The incinerator conveyor belt on Fatty’s side starts to transport,
The fat man lying on it stretched out:
“Re-engineering…”
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This chapter, as a reward!