Doomsday Bunker Upgrade Chapter 115: Emotional breakdown (one / ten)
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"Axin is back, wash your hands and eat!" "Mom, I got the first place in my class in the final exam this time!" In the hazy, deep in my memory, my mother's voice was so familiar and unfamiliar.
"My son is awesome! Dad takes you to swim on weekends!" Father always regarded himself as the pride of his life, but Chen Xin no longer remembers when his father stopped praising him. Mouth.
"Dad, I want to buy an astronomical telescope. I promise I can get four A's at the end of this semester!" When I was a child, I always longed for the sky. astronomer? astronaut? At that time, everyone seemed to think about the same.
"Son, you have to take care of yourself when you are alone, and socialize with your classmates at school. If you don’t have enough money, just tell me." I was admitted to college and left home for the first time in my life. Dad stuffed a bank card into Chen Xin's pocket.
"Hello, I'm from this dormitory too. Everyone will be brothers in the same dormitory in the future." Chen Xin can't remember who this is in the dormitory, but it should be the eldest brother, right? The oldest, he always takes care of other people.
"Axin, look at that senior, so sassy! Don't fight me, I want to chase her as a girlfriend!" Senior? Chen Xin was very impressed with her. He didn't rob his brother, but his brother was still broken in love.
"Who is going to the cafeteria for food, bring me one! Hurry! Hurry! A point back to guard!" A group of shirtless boys in the dormitory were playing games. At that time, there were not many notebooks. What is it? It seems to be CS.
"Turn off the lights, don't text your girlfriend!" Someone was checking the bed outside the door, and Chen Xin almost forgot that they were not allowed to turn on the lights after ten o'clock in the evening in the university.
"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? If not, can I be your girlfriend?" Is this the first school girl to confess to herself? Since the second year of his sophomore year, Chen Xin has been in charge of the orientation work every year. In addition, he is quite handsome, and he can't remember how many schoolgirls have confessed to him.
"Xiao Chen, do you want to form a club with senior sister?" Which senior sister is this? Why can't I remember it anymore?
"Let's sing together! Celebrate the establishment of our new club!" When did I form a club?
"What song do you sing? I can play the piano to accompany me. It just so happens that there is a piano here." Senior sister who can play the piano? Why don’t I remember?
"Will you play that "End of the World"? That song was very popular a few years ago." Why did I choose this song? Everyone celebrates the establishment of the new club. Shouldn't they sing a more festive song?
"Is that song adapted from "Song of Bamboo"? I will, I have learned the original Japanese version." Senior Sister sat in front of the piano, and the bright music played.
However, the strange thing is that the senior sister sang the Japanese version, while Chen Xin himself sang the Chinese version.
However, the two songs use the same tune and the melody is the same, so even if the lyrics are different, Chen Xin and the piano-playing sister still work well together.
Just as the two were singing together, the sound of the alarm clock suddenly sounded, breaking the harmony.
Chen Xin woke up.
He reached out and grabbed the phone on the bedside table and turned off the alarm clock. Chen Xin sat up from the bed.
The newly installed ground source heat pump has started working, and the temperature in the refuge at this moment has risen again. It is not as cold as it has been a few days ago, and Chen Xin does not need to shrink in the bed every day when he wakes up. It takes a lot of ideological struggle to get up.
However, although the person woke up, the memories that emerged in the dream made Chen Xin feel melancholy, and he was still immersed in those memories.
Living with my parents when I was young, friendship with my classmates, brothers, friends in school when I grew up, and the people I love in my life...
The memories are beautiful, but they are also heavy.
However, apart from his parents, what Chen Xin cared about most was the senior who sang with him at the end of the dream.
Strictly speaking, that's not Senior Sister, because she and Chen Xin are in the same grade, but she is half a year older than Chen Xin, so after getting to know her, she will let Chen Xin keep calling her Senior Sister.
Recalling the spirited self ten years ago, the memorable things I did in school, and the people memorable, Chen Xin felt like he was attracted by a huge whirlpool. Emotions are constantly falling, unable to break free.
After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Chen Xin did not prepare breakfast as usual, but sat on the sofa with a bit of decadence and darkness.
Chen Xin doesn't find it strange that he would dream about the past. People's dreams are related to what they think. It is normal to have dreams every day and night.
But...the people and things in my memories, those places full of memories, but they don't exist anymore, and I can't go back~IndoMTL.com~ Looking at the paper and standing on the wall that I pasted last night Chen Xin fell into deep self-doubt for the next goal. Can he really achieve this goal? Can you really stick to it? Does your persistence make sense?
Chen Xin is not a person who is easily decadent or depressed, but at this moment he is deeply in self-doubt and denial.
He is doubting his abilities, his motives for persisting in living, and his purpose of living...
The end of the world is a stressful environment, and it is also a continuous, almost endless stressful environment.
Under such an environment, the pressure of survival, the mental loneliness, the despair of not seeing hope in the future...
These emotions are constantly accumulating. Some people have poor bearing capacity and may soon be emotionally collapsed. However, even those who can bear it, it is difficult to remain optimistic and positive in such an environment. .
Because there is really no reason to make people optimistic, and there is no future worth looking forward to make people positive.
Because of the existence of the system, Chen Xin may be able to make himself less pressured. He feels that life will only get better and better, and he can still maintain an optimism.
But when he recalled the past and the beauty of the past, and compared it with the loneliness, loneliness, darkness, and coldness of the present, the pressure and negative emotions accumulated from the end of the world to the present broke out together at this moment. Couldn't stand it any longer.
He is not a Brooklyn boy who can never be defeated, nor is he the kind of Long Aotian who can change his mentality from an ordinary person to a slaughtering **** and destroying demons in an instant when he travels through a different world.
Chen Xin is just an ordinary person, an ordinary person indistinguishable from everyone else. He can cry, be afraid, be decadent, and despair.