Before His Eyes: 235 I’m afraid I’ll change

"But Ding Fei, no one will be sure about the future." I was silent for a long time, and finally said this sentence.

"I'm afraid I will change." I looked at Ding Fei, and I was really afraid that I would change.

"Shen Qing, do you know who can change in this world?"

"Not your type," she said to me.

"You have to believe in yourself. You have been preparing for Jingyi for so many years, and you are just one step away. You know what Jingyi is in your heart better than I do. You are just being knocked out by this kid now. You lost your head, you are just a little dizzy, but I believe you Shen Qing, the appearance of this child is not to make you give up Jing Yi, but to save Jing Yi, you need to change the angle, you have to think about what this child can bring you. What are you doing!"

Dizzy, I admit, I'm a little bit.

Think about it, I have a child now, and Lu Junyan treats me very well, I can give up everything before and start over, and I will be happy.

When such a thought suddenly appeared in my mind, I felt horrible, how could I think like this, no, absolutely no!

A huge contradiction unfolded in my heart. I don’t think I’m troubled by this child’s sudden fall from the sky, but a sense of guilt that I want to give up all of this. This is the main reason for my annoyance and pain. reason.

I suddenly felt sorry for Jing Yi, and I had already felt sorry for him when this thought arose, and I slapped myself, Ding Fei shouted and grabbed my hand: "What are you doing!"

"Wake yourself up."

Ding Fei was stunned for a moment, and shook off my hand: "Shen Qing, you'd better wake yourself up, you have to remember that everything you are doing now is because of Jing Yi, you are just a moment of comfort, you Don’t forget what you said, you will go to darkness on this road!”

I thought about it for a long time on the way back, who am I doing so much for now?

My son is not the one in my stomach. If there is no Jingyi, how could he be pregnant? Jingyi means something different to me. He has been my spiritual pillar for the past four years. I am living now for He is not for others, I can't break my plan because of a child, and I can't give up my Jingyi because of him, absolutely not!

I am afraid that I will, as Ding Fei said, forget the hurts and pains I have endured in the past because of the momentary comfort, because the price is too high, I can't forgive them easily, it's too big for me anymore Say welcome to the child in your belly.

My child, please forgive my mother, if there is an afterlife, don't be my child again, because I don't deserve it.

Today, Lu Junyan came back very early. Seeing that my complexion was not good and I looked listless, he walked up to me worriedly, stretched out his palm and touched my forehead: "I have a fever, go to the hospital."

I grabbed him and said, "No, I'll just rest for a while."

His eyebrows were slightly frowned, and I smiled and said: "It's okay, if there is something really wrong, just ask Dr. Liao to come and have a look. I don't want to move now."

"Well, you sit on the sofa for a while, I will cook today."

He pressed me on the sofa, and I said, "Can you cook?"

He raised his eyebrows: "Wait."

I looked at his back, lowered my head and touched my stomach.

I never thought that Lu Junyan could cook, and he was not bad at all.

He put a piece of braised pork in my bowl, and raised his lips: "Try it and see how it goes?"

Maybe it's because of my pregnancy, I feel sick looking at the fatty braised pork, but I can't let Lu Junyan find out yet, so I forced a smile and put the meat in my mouth, feeling disgusted The taste rolled up from my stomach, I closed my mouth tightly, and swallowed it with force, with a uncomfortable expression on my face, I think Lu Junyan could see it clearly.

"Isn't it delicious?" He took a piece and put it in his mouth, then looked at me, "I'll call Liao Ru."

I grabbed him and said, "Lu Junyan."

He stopped and turned to look at me.

I said weakly: "Can you hold me up, I want to sleep."

He untied the apron on his body, picked me up, and walked steadily. I felt at ease in his arms.

As he walked, he thought about it, his frown never relaxed: "How could you catch a cold?"

I was indeed a little dizzy. He put me on the bed, tucked the quilt for me, and then picked up his mobile phone and stood by the bed to make a call.

I squinted my eyes, thinking that if Liao Ru came and checked out, then so be it!

No matter how hard this kid can buy me a house...

But when I woke up, I felt a warm towel on my forehead. The room was dark, and only the lamp on the bedside table made me feel a bit of warmth. I frowned and looked around, and found the way Jun Yan was lying beside me with his arms folded. His clothes were still the same ones he had seen during the day. I took off the towel and saw a basin of water on the ground. I tried it with my hands, and it was still hot.

So this man took care of me all night?

It's already four o'clock in the morning, which means he might just go to sleep. I feel better and my head is not very dizzy. She was really pretty at the time, and the brows and eyes were naturally gentle and docile, but why did they appear indifferent and ruthless.

His hands are also beautiful, with well-defined joints, clean nails, soft hair, and a faint fragrance on his body, which inexplicably makes people feel safe. This man, if we Without those things and those people, I think I would really stay with him for the rest of my life, but there is an insurmountable gap between us, I can't live for myself selfishly, so... I'm sorry...

I sometimes think, maybe I was a bad woman in my previous life, so a bad woman is doomed not to be happy in this life, but Lu Junyan, please believe me, I really thought about just being with you and forgetting about it ...

I hugged him gently, no one knows what will happen tomorrow, enjoying the tranquility of this moment is what I long for.

"Are you awake?" A hoarse voice came from above my head, and then I was hugged into my arms.

Lu Junyan did not know when he woke up, his deep eyes were half-closed, then he lowered his head, and his forehead touched his forehead. He was silent for a moment, and then he breathed a sigh of relief: "The fever subsides."

I buried myself in his chest, thirty-year-old woman, Shen Qing, why do you always cry so easily.

"Liao Ru couldn't get through the phone, so I got you some towels. Fortunately, the fever went away."

I felt his tense body finally relax, and the softness in my heart collapsed. I hugged him tightly, as if rubbing myself into his body, and said in a muffled voice: "I'm sorry... ..."

"What?" He yawned, a little distracted.

I shook my head, he touched my head and hugged me tighter.

I never told anyone. That night, I almost blurted out all my secrets, because I really wanted to be with this man forever and stay together for life.

But I know that the moment I confess, everything will collapse, because the thing Lu Junyan hates the most is cheating.

And I let out the biggest lie in my life.