Before His Eyes: 177 I don’t want it anymore

I hummed and opened my eyes humming.

Lu Junyan thought I was awake, so he planned to continue taking off my pants. He thought that I would cooperate with him when I woke up, but it was the opposite.

When I opened my eyes, my mind became clear and my body became sensitive. He touched my thigh, and my whole body shrank back like an electric shock.

Lu Junyan expressed doubts about my attitude of one world and one underground, but I didn't know how to explain it. I just hugged my legs tightly. It returned to its usual appearance, indifferent, cold, and plain.

"Shen Qing?" Lu Junyan called me, because he hadn't calmed down the fire in his heart, he was panting a little, his voice became hoarse, and it was extremely low-mellow.

I looked up and looked over deeply.

He twitched the corner of his mouth, "Continue?"

I hugged my leg, "I don't want it anymore."

His face darkened, "If you are shy, you can turn off the light."

I am silent.

"I can tap."

I still didn't speak, he was exuding heat now, I can imagine the state of burning desire, it can be said to be unbearably hot.

So he lowered his tone and slowed down his tone, hoping that I could "put out the fire" for him, but unfortunately, I had lost interest in the matter, so I turned my head to the side and stopped looking at him.

Because I woke up, my mind is full of the clip just now, I blushed, enjoying Lu Junyan's teasing me, I had the urge to slam my head against the wall to death, I sank How can Qing be this kind of woman, how can I be so horny, and how can I forget how my child died, I do this, I am completely sorry for my child, I am so damned, I am so shameless.

I clenched the clothes on both sides tightly, cursing myself endlessly in my heart, because it was only a second before I compromised, and I was about to feel sorry for my child.

When I think of this, I feel hateful. There is probably no mother like me in this world who would forget her child's departure and why she left because of her own desire.

I'm so cruel, I'm really not human.

I confessed myself over and over again, and I am glad that at the last moment, I turned around and got on the right track.

But Lu Junyan didn't think so. He suddenly grabbed my ankle and moved forward. Without further ado, I took off my pants. My legs struggled violently and swayed, but when his knee hit him, I couldn't move.

It was just pajama pants, loose and big, and could be taken off easily. He pulled the pants down to my knees and wanted to take off my underwear. It was saying with a begging voice: "No Lu Junyan, please, no..."

He is not a gentle man in the first place, gentleness and endurance are limited, I do not know where he took out the contract he just signed, and he slapped my face with a cold voice: "Shen Qing, We signed a contract, don't make me force you, want to **** you a little bit, cooperate, it's good for both of us."

I know this truth, but I just can't let go of the heavy burden on my shoulders. If it can be unloaded so easily, how can it haunt me for four years!

But there has always been a gap between the power of a man and a woman. If he really wants to force it, I have no strength to resist.

So in order not to let this happen, I cried.

Crying so pitifully, the pear blossoms are raining.

I thought that when I cried, Lu Junyan would sympathize with me and let me go, but I didn't expect this to arouse the desire in his heart. A man's desire is abnormal. Instead of letting me go, he didn't let me go. Instead, his movements became rough and intense, ignoring my feelings at all, instead he grabbed my hand and clasped it behind his back, and rushed in directly.

I bit my lower lip tightly in pain, the tears swirling in my eyes fell instantly, the jerky and familiar feeling returned to my body again, I felt that my whole body was repelling it, an indescribable feeling , made me nauseous and dizzy.

I finally couldn't help retching and vomited loudly. Lu Junyan didn't show any compassion for me when he saw the situation. again and again.

"Does making love with me make you so disgusting, Shen Qing! Well, then I will torture you, even if you are disgusting, bear with me fucking, if I see you vomit, I can't spare you!"

His roar is endless, always echoing in my ears.

It was a bad night.

Lu Junyan did it several times, and he didn't wear a condom, so he shot it all in.

He twitched his body heartily on top of me, and I could feel the scorching heat beneath me, as if burning in a raging fire.

Hungry men can never get enough to eat, and sexually frigid women can't be sexually interested, so this love is very unpleasant.

I looked at the ceiling the whole time, the light dazzled my eyes, and I became numb, like a doll that was allowed to swing at will, and it had become fragmented and rigid.

All I think about is my child, a child who hasn't had time to call me mother, and now he is like a little devil, occupying my soul, calling my name in the dark lonely and desperate .

"Mom, mom..." over and over again.

My eyes were dull, my pupils were dilated, and I felt two lines of tears slipping down from the corners of my eyes. I was exhausted and covered my eyes with my hands.

He did it for a long time, and it only took me a few minutes for me to go from struggling to being powerless to resist, because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, it would be futile, because I still had to maintain my strength, and I would take a shower later to wash off the dirt on my body. A nasty smell.

When the sky gradually turned pale, Lu Junyan withdrew and left. Obviously he was satisfied. Although I didn't cooperate, he still vented his desire, so he asked me.

"Do you want me to take you to the shower?"

I was silent for a long time, then slowly shook my head, and only after I heard the sound of the bathroom door being locked did I relax my tense body.

As soon as I raised my hand, I was surprised to find that my face was full of tears, salty, cool tears.

I cried all night, gritted my teeth and cried.

There is a smell of malaise in the air, with the passion of last night, my whole body is covered with red spots, my body is so heavy that I can’t use any strength, I gritted my teeth, picked up the clothes, covered me, and lay down again Go back, shrink your body, and close your eyes.

I didn't expect this step to be so difficult, but after the first time, there will definitely be a second time, followed by the third and fourth time, until I am pregnant with a child, Lu Junyan will not be able to stop, but the child This kind of thing is not something that can be conceived just by being pregnant. I don't know how many times I have to do it, but I know that if I follow this trend, I will definitely go crazy and I won't be able to bear it.

But if I just procrastinate like this, I will endure more suffering. It is better to make a quick decision. The sooner I get pregnant, the sooner I will be free. Even if I do it shamelessly, my dead child will not forgive me. Me, but I want to tell him that mom did this for you.

I hugged myself tightly, and suddenly wanted to just follow him and forget it.